I wrote this just over 4 years ago, but with Arsenal not having won a trophy in 6 years it is probably appropriate to re-open this new comedy club. Unfortunatly Jose Mourinho has now left Chelsea and in fact there is nothing funny at Chelsea, so there is still an opening in the Goon Show Cast to be filled. OK it's not gardening related, It's not mobile technology, but for some reason I remembered the importance of this. The story needs to be told ;-)
Since her passing almost 5 years ago, there has been no royal practical jokers who have been able to take over her mantle as Royal Practical Joker. In times long since past, this title was held by the Court Jester of course. However cutbacks in Royal funding over the years has lead to role of Court Jester being axed. A shame really, but this is precisely why the Queen Mother used to pull whole hard boiled eggs out of her mouth during parties! I must admit that I never saw the trick, but from reading reports about it, apparently it was quite the sight to behold! Many a "Oh look! She's doing it again!", followed by sinciere laughter at the spectacle, were to be heard by the many who have attended a state affair at the palace!
So since the Queen Mother passed away, Charles tried to take over the mantle of Royal Practical Joker, however this did not last, as Charles realised that too many people were laughing at him, rather than with him, during his Joking sessions! Also swallowing up to 7 whole hard boiled eggs, and regurgitating them on demand proved far too difficult! To this day no-one has discovered how the Queen Mother performed the trick!
William and Harry attempted the role after Charles, as a comedy duo. But alas their efforts failed as well, due to ill timed gaffs by Harry, who seems to have learnt the skill off his grand father, the Duke of Edinburgh. Or did he learn it off James Hewitt? Nobody actually knows, and although DNA testing was suggested to determine where Harry learnt his lack of comedy timing from, they have never been performed.
So for the past two years there has been no Royal Practical Joker at all. This has lead to a great worry on behalf of the Queen. Just who would entertain guests at boring state dinners attended by boring politicians and other boring royals? Well the answer turned out to be very simple indeed! The Queen has opened a new Comedy Club in the State Apartments at Buckingham Palace! When there is a state function going on, she now invites several comedians who crack a few jokes here and there for the entertainment of guests!
Pictured above is the opening event at the Comedy Club at the State Apartments in Buckingham Palace. Here the famous comedian Arsene Wenger (who moonlights as the manager of Arsenal Football club, and in this role is actually the most humourless man on the face of the planet!) is cracking a joke with the Queen. They clearly are both finding it hilarious , and it seems that the new Comedy Club is proving a major success!
Last night, while Arsene was craking the jokes, many a "Oh I remember with great fondness when the Queen Mother used to pull 7 hard bolied eggs out of her mouth, but this Arsene chap is pretty fine as well!", was heard amongst the visiting dignitaries. The Queen, apparently greatly impressed by the comedy stylings of Arsene, has invited him to be a permanant fixture at the Comedy Club, should he want to leave his other job as the manager of Arsenal football club.
It is rumoured that upcoming events, at the State Apartments at Buckingham Palace, might actually have the following big three football managers, Arsene Wenger, Jose Mourinho (Chelsea Football club) and Sir Alex Furgerson (Manchester United Football club) re-enacting famous Goon Show sketches!
These rumours have had various dignitaries and leaders of countries camping out at the front door of Buckingham Palace in order to make sure they can get tickets for the events! Many a "Fancy that! The big football three re-enacting the Goon show!", was to be heard amongst the queued dignitaries, as they hoped to be able to purchase good tickets for the events!
One dignitary was heard to say, "This will be better than the Queen Mother!", which was met who howls of derision and laughter! I mean the big football three performing the Goon show is funny. Arsene Wenger is funny. But NOTHING is funnier than the Queen Mother pulling 7 hard boiled eggs out of her mouth!!!
Please!
Anyways, even if you cannot get tickets for the State Apartments at Buckingham Palace, and rumour has it that George Bush failed to pick up tickets when his cheque bounced as his bank balance is still in the red after not having paid off his current war, have fun!
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